Oscars thoughts, live.

a surprise monday drop!

Monday morning:

Happy Monday, and what a time to be a movie fan! We’re gonna do a little time-travel together. Back when I was recapping The Bachelor, I would post live-reaction blogs to the episodes that also worked as recaps the next day. So we have a throwback style, which I absolutely enjoyed every moment of. I went through this morning and added links so you could watch along. Come with me all the way to last night, where the stars were out…

optical flip, fade in to…

Sunday night:

Okay y’all I have to put Rosie to bed during the first half hour, so I’m only gonna recap the big moments at first. Here we go:

Fun cold open! Monologue was pretty good.

Conan does his best work when he’s solo. Good for Timmy for playing along with the opera/ballet joke–him being stone-faced would’ve made things the an even worse turn. “At least we arrest our pedophiles,” was fantastic. Nice button talking about how art is international! Art is important!! ART IS THE MOST IMPORTANT!

Okay Best Supporting. Gah I forgot about how maddening it was to watch Zoe Saldaña win this last year for that God-awful movie. I think this is gonna be Teyana, but Amy Madigan has had a big splashy run-up. Wunmi Mosaku was spectacular. But Teyana should have it locked up. She did indeed have the best performance.

AMY MADIGAN. WOWOWOW.

AMY MADIGAN IS MARRIED TO ED HARRIS???? Damn, Amy!! She’s lookin’ absolutely cuckoo in that jacket and I’m here for it. Let them feathers fly. “As I was shaving my legs, I was thinking about what to say,” icon. Thanking her girlies. Teyana jumping up and cheering, what a woman. This is a legacy award, as Oscars sometimes are: not necessarily for the performance, but for the career.

Sinners LFG. I already have chills. Miles Caton. Good Jesus Christ almighty. So relaxed and resonant and RICH tonally. So much presence so much talent. Oh man they’re re-creating the whole scene I am COVERED IN GOOSIES. Brittany Howard. I’m crying. The Irish are in the chat!! Hip hop dancing. Oh my gosh it’s multicultural. I am going to explode out of my skin MISTY COPELAND JUST ARRIVED ON MILES’ HIGH NOTE. CRYING. Weeping shedding tears. Michael B. out here nodding like “YEAH WE DID THAT.” Ryan Coogler looking so proud. What a fucking performance.

Okay - Rosie is down and I am BACK. We’re ready to watch the rest of the show together.

Screaming at Anna Wintour and Anne oh my GOD!!!!!

Anne Hathaway’s insanely enunciated diction is MADDENING TO ME ALWAYS, WAY too much. The sunglasses saved the bit because otherwise AW literally works so hard, it needed to be clear this was comedy sooner??

But Anna Wintour slayed, good for her for going out with a bang.

First Oscar for casting!

I absolutely love this introduction format where they bring five actors to the stage and have them give personalized tributes. The choice to have people who actually know the nominees make the presentation is powerful and gripping to watch. I will never forget Stanley Tucci’s offering to Meryl Streep and honestly have cribbed it in a couple of toasts myself. You should watch the whole thing, but the Meryl tribute starts at 5:30.

STANDING O FROM THE CROWD!! The acceptance speech was…kind of wildly ungracious? I didn’t love it.

Lots of Burger King ads running and honestly it really made me want a cheeseburger. That’s not a hard fire to stoke but all this burger footage, DAMN.

The Conan interstitials are kind of flopping, no? He’s better as a one-man act, not doing phony bits.

A TIE for Best Live Action Short!!!!! Oh man when was the last time this happened!?

OMG THAT’S RIGHT HEPBURN AND STREISAND wow that is wild. Apparently there have been six ties in Oscars history. Now there’ve been seven!! Very exciting and fun to watch.

Cutting my man off mid-sentence, cutting to Conan, then botching the mic coming back on. Come on y’all, these people might never be here again.

“We can change people’s souls THROUGH THEATER AND BALLET!” OH MY GOD SHOTS FIRED SHOTS FIRED SOMEONE CHECK ON CHAMALAMADINGDONG.

Best Supporting Actor.

Kieran Culkin my KING. God I love this guy. Everyone does. He is a true gem from heaven and I love when he’s a sassy little weirdo and runs his mouth. He’s great.

I have to say I really hope it’s not Sean Penn. The role he plays is so icky and he plays it well but I don’t want that to get attention.

…welp. Here we are.

Oh he’s not even there?????? That’s so rude. How insulting to the other guys who lost and came in person, woof. I would be truly incensed about that if I was one of his fellow nominees. I know Sean Penn has his thing about awards shows and is very outspoken etc., but like…either accept the nomination or don’t. Don’t agree to get all the attention and praise and then just thumb your nose at the show, right? That’s obnoxious to me.

The “re-state the plot” bit was great. Sterling K. Brown is so winning and hilarious, he could sell ice to a penguin. Love him.

RDJ is another short king who I deeply love. But this Chris Evans bit is really bad. All the bits are…really kind of bad. The stars are out, do better, Oscars writers!

BIG WIN, Paul Thomas Anderson!!! The crowd on its feet again! This is his first Oscar win, that’s a big deal. He’s made so many amazing movies and this is huge.

…did he just say “Tanning Chatum?”

Omg Channing Tatum in the crowd!!! Boy these bits are bad. Have I said that yet?

RYAN COOGLER LET’S FUCKING GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FIRST WIN!!!!! Y’all if you’re not familiar, get familiar. Ovation from the crowd, oh my goodness. Wow. Wowowowow. That was triumphant.

Okay, the In Memorium package has begun.

Oh damn they got Billy Crystal to talk about Rob Reiner. Oh man this is gonna hurt.

God it is so sad that they were murdered. That is just…still very shocking.

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD IT’S ALL OF THE PEOPLE IN REINER MOVIES.

Oh my god.

Oh wow I am absolutely crying.

IS RACHEL MCADAMS IS DOING DIANE???????

Damn they went for it. Catherine too.

Rachel McAdams is a perfect-looking human being.

K, Amazing Grace with the strings and the word-less choir was a pretttttty heavy-handed, we’re veering into parody territory here guys.

It feels strange to me that Redford didn’t get a person on stage doing the tribute for him?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

I TYPED THAT AND OUT CAME BARBRA?????? Am I a witch? An astrologer told me once I was a mystic, is that the same?

SHE’S SINGING THE WAY WE WERE???? ICONIC.

Okay I can say it: This segment is an SNL sketch. But I am living for every second.

Man I am very tired from all that. I really worked myself up. I also realized how long that was. Like, the Rob Reiner tribute was in the same package!

The writing and the delivery is so clunky in all of these presenting speeches. This is some sweaty comedy.

Kimmel! Whatcha got for us tonight James? Okay if we play this game with the girlies then we’re gonna play it with the boys…Jimmy has for sure had something done to his eyes. Also very clearly had a monster amount of Dysport/Botox in his forehead.

Documentary film award finds a lot of empty seats in the front row, where are the seat fillers?!

I’m sorry to say I had to mute this part and do something else. I’m so happy for these guys but I can’t listen to them talk about school shootings for my own mental health!

The Trump digs are making me giggle.

The Bridesmaids girlies looking ABSOLUTELY INSANE, STUNT ON ‘EM!!!

The sound guy needs to get fired. This show has been rough.

That shot of Leo, his eyes are SO BLUE. Oh my goodness he is JUST SO FINE. Just SO. DAMN. FINE. Forever. Leo. Thank God I was the generation to grow up with him as my crush. This Bridesmaids moment is delightful.

Ludwig Göransson!!!! Boy we’ve worn this dude’s scores OUT in my car. Great speech.

I know it’s part of the bit, but the Bridesmaids girls actually did look radiant and amazing.

Demi Moore looks fantastic and Substance-ified as always.

Come on Sinners!! FIRST FEMALE CINEMATOGRAPHY WIN and so well-deserved!! Autumn Durald Arkapaw. Ryan Coogler bringing up her son from the back…come on.

“All the women in the room, stand up.” Wow I have full-body chills.

K-Pop Demon Hunters let’s go!!! Like every parent in America, I watched this movie at least 50,000,000 times.

The mics are auto-tuned it seems, but I know these girls have the goods. Maybe it’s just to guard against nerves. I mean for God’s sake this song spans like a 4-octave range, so I get it.

No surprise that Best Original Song went to Golden. Let’s see if we can keep the speech tighter than it was at the Golden Globes.

Damn the way they’re cutting folks off is SAVAGE. The Academy is about to catch some heat for playing people off…it’s too much!

Zendaya and Robert Pattinson strangely just…look alike. I can’t explain it.

PTA WITH A DIRECTING WIN!!! HUGE NIGHT FOR PTA! Honestly hate to not see it go to Coogler or Chloe Zhao, but that’s okay. PTA is a legend. He deserves to have won this before tonight, though, so it some ways it feels like a legacy pick. Kind of a weird speech.

Love the crack about Adrian Brody’s speech being eternal last year because it. WAS. Him coming out and swallowing his gum? Ew. Bringing the papers? Funny I suppose. Except that…the Academy has already played everybody else off and it wasn’t a joke.

Okay here we go. Lead Actor. Come onnnnnnn, big money, Lord, let it be Michael B!

MICHAEL B JORDAN. MICHAEL B JORDAN. MICHAEL B JORDAN. MICHAEL B JORDAN. HE DID IT Y’ALL. HE DID IT. HE DID IT. HE DID IT!!!!!!

WHOLE AUDIENCE ON ITS FEET. Teyana Taylor calling out “THAT’S MY BOY!” People are crying, clasping their hands together, overwhelmed.

“Yo, Mom, what’s up?” That grin!!!!

“I stand here because of the people that came before me.” A tribute to ancestors from a film about ancestry. “Thank you for keeping betting on me. I want to keep stepping up and be the best version of myself I can be.”

My night is made. This is exactly what I was hoping for. I frankly think Leo’s performance was slightly better but this is the win this country needed and deserved. Leo’s got his. Time for MBJ.

Okay, Best Actress. Jessie Buckley’s the favorite to win it all, feels likely. But Rose Byrne is my secret hope in this category. She looks fantastic and I want her body of work to be awarded. But I also love that Kate Hudson is nominated, like how fun to watch her career take a prestige turn!

Jessie Buckley it is!

She has an 8-month-old?! Good GRACIOUS. Go girl. “I”d like to dedicate this to the beautiful chaos of a mother’s heart.”

Ewan and Nicole!!! Walking out to Love Lifts Us Up Where We Belong, from Moulin Rouge. I’m obsessed. Doing dialogue from the movie?! They’ve still got chemistry. Cute.

Okay y’all, the big one!! What’s it gonna be!?!

One Battle. Predictable but slightly disappointing. I really wanted Sinners to take it!

Let’s give the evening a grade:

TELECAST: 5/10. The bits were sweaty, the sound was bad, the camerawork on the floor was strange, and the choice to only let one person in a group speak seemed brutal every time. Not a great event.

WINNERS: 9/10. This was an extremely satisfying night for movie fans. Timothee Chalamet not winning Best Actor for that dumb movie about ping pong was a massive collective exhale. The stars power was pretty solid, had some great A-listers from way back and some good nostalgic content for movie fans. More of this!!

Let’s do a little fashion talk before we go, only the best looks, not the (many) awful ones:

Slay, serve, gorgeous. Not wild about the sheer bodice but Teyana knows how to give it to the people every single time.

Gorgeous, but it turned out she couldn’t walk in it as she was presenting, so it ended up really making her look feeble with the tiny, careful steps.

So much visual interest and perfectly Kristen Wiig! The bodice is pooling a little around the waist…I think we could’ve done without the extra fabric there, but generally so great. Love when people can take their everyday style and just elevate it so it doesn’t feel like they’re in a costume.

I have absolutely no idea who this is, tbh. And I really don’t like the head styling (WAY too casual) or the shawl. But the fit, the pleats, the basque waist, the COLOR…totally dreamy.

Personal best. Absolute perfection. No notes.

The neckline is about 3” too high, which is why she looks like her shoulders are in her ears. But this weird, tiered moment is so her. I kinda love it.

This is the hottest he’s been in years. Good LORD.

Alana Haim wearing something that’s a little quirky, very California girl, very drapey. I can see Dakota Johnson in this. You can tell she feels so great and comfortable, and that makes it even better.

A maximalist look from Annie. I’m never a fan of dresses that fall at that length, it just ends up being a toe parade that isn’t terribly flattering. But Anne has become a high fashion maven over the last few years, and I actually love the neutral makeup since everything else is so DONE to death. It’s really not my favorite look but it needed to make it in this list because it’s just A LOT.

Sparkly princess perfection. Great head styling. Great jewels.

Looking every bit like the winner he is.

RADIANT. The head styling is gorgeous. The COLOR of this dress, whew!

Dressing like the award you hope to win is an old standby. Didn’t work out that way, but she looks great.

Ryan Coogler lookin’ like a million bucks.

This is weird as hell and FAB. Needed a standing ride to the show to prevent the wrinkling through the bodice.

Let’s let Jacob Elordi’s step and repeat moment educate us about men’s red carpet etiquette for a second. In photos, men should always have their jackets buttoned. His open jacket, combined with the full break in his trousers (the pooling around the top of his shoes), combined with his tousled hair, combined with the wrinkled crotch of his pants works to give this an unkept vibe. By closing his jacket, getting a standing ride in a van to the show instead of being seated for what was clearly a long time before these photos, and opting for slightly less intense break in his pants, he could’ve really Done Something. Instead, he looks like he rolled out of bed.

Gorgeous. She knew she wasn’t going to win, but still dressed like a nominee, as she should! I never love a side-swept hair moment but the dress is PERFECTLY fitted, gorgeous color on her, and makes a statement.

Again, no idea who this is and the skirt is too fussy (we don’t need buttons and an exposed crinoline) but the color and the bodice are WOW. Hair should’ve been up.

Okay bye!